when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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