I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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