she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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