dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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