from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
