Can i not drive my cunt home
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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