I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize