She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
