State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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