What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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