i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
