They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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