And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
