i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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