so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
