Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize