I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
