Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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