She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
