it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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