Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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