I should be sponsored by Trojan
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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