watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize