Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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