Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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