Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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