he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
