How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
