They should really pass out barf bags in church
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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