your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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