there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm getting married
To pizza
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
