and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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