it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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