WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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