barbara walters just said penis...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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