he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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