what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
