Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
