Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
