areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pants 0. Shit 1.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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