What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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