She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
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bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
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My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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