C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
