Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my phone needs a breathalizer
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize