He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
