weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
