found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Oh god it's open bar.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
