once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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