You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
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