i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize