I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why do cheetos always look like penises
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize