He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize