Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
