It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
