You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
