That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Green mimosas i think yes
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
